Foot Fetishers

Did you ever think that it was a joke that some guys were turned on by feet? It is not a joke. First of all, I must preface this post by saying that I always have painted toe nails and I love to wear flip flops- fancy flipflops with sequins and beads, preferably hot pink. My feet are pretty small too, so I guess they look ok- for feet. Summer time is prime season for the foot fetish people. All of my experiences happen in the summer. Well, you could hardly expect someone to see through your socks and winter shoes to admire your feet. So now, I will relate two of these run ins with foot people.

I was home alone one night when a neighbor who was on the Board of Directors of the Home Owners Association called me. I was president of the Board, so there was nothing unusual about the call. Mark (names have been changed to protect the guilty) said that he wanted to come over to discuss something. No alarm bells went off in my head. He was a nerdy type of guy, married, and seemed as normal as anyone around here. (That is- not REAL normal, but close enough). So, I let him in, I got us something to drink, and I waited to hear what new neighborhood disaster was disturbing Mark. He spoke of this and that, and I noticed that he kept looking at my bare feet. I had my legs up on the coffee table, and figured that he just thought legs didn't belong on coffee tables, even your own table! The next thing I knew, he sidled a little closer, and said, "Can we have sex?" I was so taken aback that I just said, "No Mark!" Then he moved a little closer as I moved away and asked, "Then can I go down on you?" Horrors! All that I could think of was- how the hell can I get this nut case out of here, and who knew he was insane? Also, why did I let Mark in here when hubby was gone? My answer to that request was "NO!" Then he leaned in to me and whispered, "Then can I suck your toes?!?" Eeeyew! What I was really thinking was that I really needed to repaint my toes. Mark looked affronted, and said, "Well, you don't have to look so disgusted!" I jumped up, pointed my (unpainted) finger at Mark, and said "YOU have to go- NOW". Then unbelieveably he said, "Well what are you going to do if I say no?" At that I felt panicked, and the only think that I could think to say was- "If you don't go- then- I'm going to cry!" Mark said, "Oh damn, I hate to see a woman cry- I'm leaving." I more or less shoved him out the door- locked it, drew the shades, and got my gun. From then on I avoided Mark but always acted pleasant. We have never mentioned it and he never looks at my feet.

The other time I am going to talk about was in Florida. I was in a Wal Mart in Pensacola with my husband, daughter, and her friend. They all went off to look at CDs, Videos, and fun things like that while I had the cart to get groceries. I was pushing up one aisle and down another, and vaguely noticed the same guy passing me back and forth. Anyone who has ever gone grocery shopping knows that is not unusual at all. If you maintain approximately the same pace, you'll see the same person on every aisle. In the bread aisle this man stopped me with an "Ahem, Ma'am?" I thought he was going to ask me if I knew where something like where the Wheat Chex was, so I stopped with a pleasant smile on my face to hear what he was going to say. Then this nice gentleman looked at me and asked, "Can I massage your feet?" My reply was a flustered, "No thank you, not now." And I sped off like Mario Andretti to relay my latest to the family.

There have been a couple of other times, one just a month ago or so when I was at the pool, and the lifeguard said, "I love your toes!" I could feel them curling up but just gave a sprightly "Thanks". From then on I've wondered if he studies my toes when I do a flip turn!

There is a pic of my feet, my daughter's, and my son's feet as the next post. Doesn't do anything for me. I used to draw faces with a pen on the kid's big toes and then take pictures of them. I still do it if they let me. Maybe I attract these foot people in some cosmic way that I don't know about. Better that they have a fetish for feet than some other body parts, if you ask me.