Another perk of living in the country is wildlife all around. It is usually lots of fun and exciting to see, except when the wildlife is black with a white stripe- a polecat, aka skunk. Well, last week we had seen three skunks in the yard, and one was an albino, wandering around in the day. If you see a skunk in the day, that is bad news. They are nocturnal animals and this usually means a sick skunk. In addition, the skunk family was near the house and seemed unafraid of humans. Bella went out one late afternoon, saw Mr. Skunk, and took off away from me. Bella made a quick grab for her prey, then flipped, and immediately began to rub frantically on the ground. It only took a nonosecond for the miasma of burning rubber smell (that is how it smells to me) to reach me. I had to grab Bella and run for the house and into the shower. Everything reeked- Bella, me, the house, everything. I put out those electric air filters, lit candles, washed everything washable that had touched her, and sprayed Febreeze on Bella. Yes, Febreeze. I read the label and it seems to be non toxic- made from corn. It helps a lot. I don't know if anyone else has tried it, but it mitigates the odor better than hydrogen peroxide, I can tell you for a fact.
Anyway, over the next few days we saw the skunks again in the day. I made a call to the vet and left a message with the State people. The concensus was that they were probably rabid and needed to be killed. How upsetting. I hate to kill anything, even bugs. But Jon went out when we saw one dudring the day and shot it. There was another the next day, and another the next. A friend was talking to me about the sadness of having to kill a living creature, but she did say something probably quite true. "If they are sick and suffering it is not bad to put then out of their misery." The State people (in charge of Rabies, I guess) told me that over 50% of the skunks tested around here in Middle Tennessee are rabid. Interestingly enough, only 20% of the bats are rabid, and there aren't any rabid raccoons here. There are plenty of them in East Tennesseee though. By the time we killed the third one, I was totally paranoid, and had Bella revacinated. She had her shot for Rabies in March, but I wanted to be really sure. I asked the State guy how skunks got rabies, and he said that they give it to each other. I hope that there aren't any more around. Watch out for skunks in the daytime.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
candy
Back when my kids were small I would occasionally let them buy their favorite candy in the grocery store while I shopped. I'd hand over the money and they would go get their treat. When I asked what they bought, Rob or Rebecca would answer with a mouth full of "something"---Annihilators!!!! That name seemed to be a little grusome for candy, but it must be good, or the kids wouldn't want to get it all the time. One day, years later, I mentioned that I thought that was a really odd name for their favorite candy and the kids burst out laughing. "Annihilators!!!!!- Not Annihilators- NOW AND LATERS! Ever heard of them?
Once when Rob was about three or four years old he went to the bank with me, and they gave him a sour ball type candy. In the car I heard a horrible sound, and looked back to see Rob choking. The sour ball had lodged in his throat. Somehow I got it out- I don't know how. It was in the days before the Heimlich, so I think that I did what you aren't supposed to do and stuck my hand in his throat and flipped it out. It is all a blur though. From then on, I lived in fear of "hard candy". None allowed in my house! If the kids ever got some sour ball or fire ball type candy they had to bite it in half immediately! - In my presence! My warning for years, even after they were grown, was, "wear your seat belt, park in a safe place, and don't eat any hard candy."
Rob's favorite candy for a while was Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'd pack them in his lunch box every day. One day he came back home totally panicked, and showed me his uneaten (but with a bite out) Reeses. There were little meal worms in the filling. They are harmless of course, but icky. That was his last Reese's P.B. Cup- as far as I know.
Rebecca loved candy so much that I felt I must have failed as a mother somehow. She loved candy so much we called her "candy head". Once after Easter she ate so much candy that she developed an allergy to Yellow Number 5- a common coloring agent in candies. She would sneak candy from Nanny's house and eat it under her bed. Rebecca was found out by the ring of stickiness around her mouth. We also called her "glue mouth" or sometimes that was shortened to "glumuth". Rebecca still likes candy, but now cares a lot about her figure and health too. I guess it wasn't really a failure on my part that ol' "Candy Head" loved her sweets.
Once when Rob was about three or four years old he went to the bank with me, and they gave him a sour ball type candy. In the car I heard a horrible sound, and looked back to see Rob choking. The sour ball had lodged in his throat. Somehow I got it out- I don't know how. It was in the days before the Heimlich, so I think that I did what you aren't supposed to do and stuck my hand in his throat and flipped it out. It is all a blur though. From then on, I lived in fear of "hard candy". None allowed in my house! If the kids ever got some sour ball or fire ball type candy they had to bite it in half immediately! - In my presence! My warning for years, even after they were grown, was, "wear your seat belt, park in a safe place, and don't eat any hard candy."
Rob's favorite candy for a while was Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'd pack them in his lunch box every day. One day he came back home totally panicked, and showed me his uneaten (but with a bite out) Reeses. There were little meal worms in the filling. They are harmless of course, but icky. That was his last Reese's P.B. Cup- as far as I know.
Rebecca loved candy so much that I felt I must have failed as a mother somehow. She loved candy so much we called her "candy head". Once after Easter she ate so much candy that she developed an allergy to Yellow Number 5- a common coloring agent in candies. She would sneak candy from Nanny's house and eat it under her bed. Rebecca was found out by the ring of stickiness around her mouth. We also called her "glue mouth" or sometimes that was shortened to "glumuth". Rebecca still likes candy, but now cares a lot about her figure and health too. I guess it wasn't really a failure on my part that ol' "Candy Head" loved her sweets.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Foot Fetishers
Did you ever think that it was a joke that some guys were turned on by feet? It is not a joke. First of all, I must preface this post by saying that I always have painted toe nails and I love to wear flip flops- fancy flipflops with sequins and beads, preferably hot pink. My feet are pretty small too, so I guess they look ok- for feet. Summer time is prime season for the foot fetish people. All of my experiences happen in the summer. Well, you could hardly expect someone to see through your socks and winter shoes to admire your feet. So now, I will relate two of these run ins with foot people.
I was home alone one night when a neighbor who was on the Board of Directors of the Home Owners Association called me. I was president of the Board, so there was nothing unusual about the call. Mark (names have been changed to protect the guilty) said that he wanted to come over to discuss something. No alarm bells went off in my head. He was a nerdy type of guy, married, and seemed as normal as anyone around here. (That is- not REAL normal, but close enough). So, I let him in, I got us something to drink, and I waited to hear what new neighborhood disaster was disturbing Mark. He spoke of this and that, and I noticed that he kept looking at my bare feet. I had my legs up on the coffee table, and figured that he just thought legs didn't belong on coffee tables, even your own table! The next thing I knew, he sidled a little closer, and said, "Can we have sex?" I was so taken aback that I just said, "No Mark!" Then he moved a little closer as I moved away and asked, "Then can I go down on you?" Horrors! All that I could think of was- how the hell can I get this nut case out of here, and who knew he was insane? Also, why did I let Mark in here when hubby was gone? My answer to that request was "NO!" Then he leaned in to me and whispered, "Then can I suck your toes?!?" Eeeyew! What I was really thinking was that I really needed to repaint my toes. Mark looked affronted, and said, "Well, you don't have to look so disgusted!" I jumped up, pointed my (unpainted) finger at Mark, and said "YOU have to go- NOW". Then unbelieveably he said, "Well what are you going to do if I say no?" At that I felt panicked, and the only think that I could think to say was- "If you don't go- then- I'm going to cry!" Mark said, "Oh damn, I hate to see a woman cry- I'm leaving." I more or less shoved him out the door- locked it, drew the shades, and got my gun. From then on I avoided Mark but always acted pleasant. We have never mentioned it and he never looks at my feet.
The other time I am going to talk about was in Florida. I was in a Wal Mart in Pensacola with my husband, daughter, and her friend. They all went off to look at CDs, Videos, and fun things like that while I had the cart to get groceries. I was pushing up one aisle and down another, and vaguely noticed the same guy passing me back and forth. Anyone who has ever gone grocery shopping knows that is not unusual at all. If you maintain approximately the same pace, you'll see the same person on every aisle. In the bread aisle this man stopped me with an "Ahem, Ma'am?" I thought he was going to ask me if I knew where something like where the Wheat Chex was, so I stopped with a pleasant smile on my face to hear what he was going to say. Then this nice gentleman looked at me and asked, "Can I massage your feet?" My reply was a flustered, "No thank you, not now." And I sped off like Mario Andretti to relay my latest to the family.
There have been a couple of other times, one just a month ago or so when I was at the pool, and the lifeguard said, "I love your toes!" I could feel them curling up but just gave a sprightly "Thanks". From then on I've wondered if he studies my toes when I do a flip turn!
There is a pic of my feet, my daughter's, and my son's feet as the next post. Doesn't do anything for me. I used to draw faces with a pen on the kid's big toes and then take pictures of them. I still do it if they let me. Maybe I attract these foot people in some cosmic way that I don't know about. Better that they have a fetish for feet than some other body parts, if you ask me.
I was home alone one night when a neighbor who was on the Board of Directors of the Home Owners Association called me. I was president of the Board, so there was nothing unusual about the call. Mark (names have been changed to protect the guilty) said that he wanted to come over to discuss something. No alarm bells went off in my head. He was a nerdy type of guy, married, and seemed as normal as anyone around here. (That is- not REAL normal, but close enough). So, I let him in, I got us something to drink, and I waited to hear what new neighborhood disaster was disturbing Mark. He spoke of this and that, and I noticed that he kept looking at my bare feet. I had my legs up on the coffee table, and figured that he just thought legs didn't belong on coffee tables, even your own table! The next thing I knew, he sidled a little closer, and said, "Can we have sex?" I was so taken aback that I just said, "No Mark!" Then he moved a little closer as I moved away and asked, "Then can I go down on you?" Horrors! All that I could think of was- how the hell can I get this nut case out of here, and who knew he was insane? Also, why did I let Mark in here when hubby was gone? My answer to that request was "NO!" Then he leaned in to me and whispered, "Then can I suck your toes?!?" Eeeyew! What I was really thinking was that I really needed to repaint my toes. Mark looked affronted, and said, "Well, you don't have to look so disgusted!" I jumped up, pointed my (unpainted) finger at Mark, and said "YOU have to go- NOW". Then unbelieveably he said, "Well what are you going to do if I say no?" At that I felt panicked, and the only think that I could think to say was- "If you don't go- then- I'm going to cry!" Mark said, "Oh damn, I hate to see a woman cry- I'm leaving." I more or less shoved him out the door- locked it, drew the shades, and got my gun. From then on I avoided Mark but always acted pleasant. We have never mentioned it and he never looks at my feet.
The other time I am going to talk about was in Florida. I was in a Wal Mart in Pensacola with my husband, daughter, and her friend. They all went off to look at CDs, Videos, and fun things like that while I had the cart to get groceries. I was pushing up one aisle and down another, and vaguely noticed the same guy passing me back and forth. Anyone who has ever gone grocery shopping knows that is not unusual at all. If you maintain approximately the same pace, you'll see the same person on every aisle. In the bread aisle this man stopped me with an "Ahem, Ma'am?" I thought he was going to ask me if I knew where something like where the Wheat Chex was, so I stopped with a pleasant smile on my face to hear what he was going to say. Then this nice gentleman looked at me and asked, "Can I massage your feet?" My reply was a flustered, "No thank you, not now." And I sped off like Mario Andretti to relay my latest to the family.
There have been a couple of other times, one just a month ago or so when I was at the pool, and the lifeguard said, "I love your toes!" I could feel them curling up but just gave a sprightly "Thanks". From then on I've wondered if he studies my toes when I do a flip turn!
There is a pic of my feet, my daughter's, and my son's feet as the next post. Doesn't do anything for me. I used to draw faces with a pen on the kid's big toes and then take pictures of them. I still do it if they let me. Maybe I attract these foot people in some cosmic way that I don't know about. Better that they have a fetish for feet than some other body parts, if you ask me.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Cutting your own hair
Last night I looked in the mirror and was just sick of my hair. The length was wrong, the shape was wrong, and I was just not happy with my hair. I also wasn't happy with the idea of paying fifty dollars to have my usual hair person cut it. I am so broke. So what did I do? I picked up my scissors to just "trim the ends a little." The way that I like my hair is tapered- shorter in the front and longer in the back, so that if you looked at me from behind it would look like a "U". I trimmed the ends a little, but one side didn't match the otherr, so I cut some more, and then the back was too long compared to the sides! That required a mirror and looking at the reflection with the scissors in my hand. It isn't easy to hold a mirror and cut your hair. You are liable to make a mistake!! And I did!! So then I had to cut the sides some more, and then the front some more, and then the back again! In the end, I had lopped off about three inches. But you know what? It looked ok. My hair is wavy, and it hides a lot of flaws. No matterr who cuts it (even me) it kind of looks the same. The really odd thing is that my husband never noticed- even with the wastebasket full of hair. That's alright- he says that I still look 21 years old to him too.
Monday, May 7, 2007
ticks
Those wretched little creatures are everywhere outside. Last night I woke up to feel a crawling sensation on my thigh. In the winter, I would just scratch, but his time of year I jump up, turn on the light, and study the body part for a brown dot crawling around. I found two on me in the night- one stuck, and one crawling. Yeech. As grossed out as I am by them, I don't have near the typical reaction that one finds in the general city dwelling populace. My trusty tweezers are always at the ready! Sometimes you need a mirror too when the ticks are in "difficult" locations. Around here the most common tick seems to be the Lone Star tick, but the most horrible are the "seed" ticks. They are really nymph ticks that latch on by the hundreds when you disturb the nursery. They are so tiny- about the size of the period at the end of the sentence. The itchy bump that they will leave is not tiny at all however. They are REALLY hard to see, but not hard to feel the little army of bugs. If these seed ticks ever get on you, the only thing to do is to strip all of your clothes off, throw them in the washer, put yourself in the shower, and scrub hard with a washcloth and soap. Hopefully you will dislodge all of the ticks. My favorite treatment is to pour alcohol on a cloth first and scrub, then the shower technique. The next crucial step is to NEVER go back to that location again until winter, or until you have blasted the area with insecticide. I don't care how "green" you are, if you have thousands of seed ticks speeding up your body, you would use DDT if you had any. When we were about to build this house, I took a giant pump spray bottle of bug poison to spray in front of me, and then when I stopped I would spray a large circle around me. Ticks do carry some pretty nasty diseases around here like erlichiosis, Lyne disease, and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. After my big adventure having West Nile Fever, I want to avoid all bug borne diseases. But, as I said, I just pull those ticks off and make a mental note so that if I come down with something, I'll think Tick disease.
Now here is an interesting fact about the ticks that get on me and latch on. They die. That is right. When I find one actually attached to my body, it is always dead. My husband is my witness to this., I wonder if my blood is toxic to them. Could it be all those vitamins? Or could it be the antidepressant? Or is it just me? Whatever it is it makes them easy to remove. If you should have a live tick attached to you, get some alcohol, a cotton ball, and tweezers. Swab the area, then carefully lift the body of the tick. Pull slowly but steadily trying not to leave the mouthpiece in you. Then wipe the whole area with alcohol again. (this is my technique, not endorsed by anybody that I know of) Discard tick down the drain or toilet. From now on check yourself regularly- including hidden areas. I think that I will go do that right now.
Now here is an interesting fact about the ticks that get on me and latch on. They die. That is right. When I find one actually attached to my body, it is always dead. My husband is my witness to this., I wonder if my blood is toxic to them. Could it be all those vitamins? Or could it be the antidepressant? Or is it just me? Whatever it is it makes them easy to remove. If you should have a live tick attached to you, get some alcohol, a cotton ball, and tweezers. Swab the area, then carefully lift the body of the tick. Pull slowly but steadily trying not to leave the mouthpiece in you. Then wipe the whole area with alcohol again. (this is my technique, not endorsed by anybody that I know of) Discard tick down the drain or toilet. From now on check yourself regularly- including hidden areas. I think that I will go do that right now.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Lawsuit is over
After two long years, the lawsuit against me is over. B. Capers, the guy suing me is, in my opinion, the slimiest scum alive. He is also, in my opinion, a pathetic sociopath who deserves to get some results from all the bad karma he has built up. THERE- now I feel better. I have lost all faith in the justice system. It doesn't have anything to do with justice, only with letting every nut case who can dial up a lawyer be heard. I was set to go to trial in October, but we tried mediation to see if we could get out of it for less than getting ready for the case. We did, but it was really brutal. For two hours that nut wouldn't budge from his demand in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Finally, finally after almost 5 hours he came down to around 20,000.00. His lawyer, also in my opionion a shyster, will get one third.
Here is the story in a nutshell. I was president of the Home Owners Association and we didn't have insurance. I had been president for five years. Bruce Capers wanted to build a house on a lot that he had bought for almost nothing (6 acres for thirty thousand ) because the neighbor's septic tank field was on the lot. This limited the building envelope severely. Most of the lot goes up a hill and is unbuildable anyway. So he makes the poor guy who sold it to him pay off our roadbuilding lien and then Capers takes the money and never pays the lien. Then he lies sto the HOA about having a contractor to build his house, He obtained a fraudulent building permit. Everyone in here was REALLY worried about what he was going to do on that lot. If his lips were moving, he was lying. He was buying books like Beginning Building, Plumbing for Idiots, and things like that. So, when the title agent called me to get some information, I mentioned that Bruce Capers had been pulling some shenanigans in here, didn't have a contractor, and we were all upset. LESSON 1. Don't ever talk to anyone about someone who is getting a loan- even if they ask!!!!!!! Which was what happened. The title agent, Frankie Matthews, told me the banker would want to know about this, and I said, Have him call me. He did and I told him about Brucie Boy. We had two other conversations. LESSON 2 REALLY don't talk to a banker about anyone unless you want to be accused of interfering with a contract!!!!! That is serious in Tennessee- triple damages! The bank cancelled his loan! So Bruce sends out a threatening letter to everyone in the HOA threatening to sue- called me a snobby bitch, arrogant bitch, DOCTOR'S WIFE BITCH, and threatened to "make me wish I was never born" Well, when I heard the doctor's wife comment I knew he was going to sue me. And he did. He sued the HOA, me as President, and me as individual. I had already resigned right as this was happening so there was a whole new board. They told Capers he didn't have to pay the 2000.00 he owed the HOA if he would drop the Homeowners Assoc. and me as Presidenet_BUT they left me flapping in the breeze with being sued as an individual. I was, and still am, angry beyond all measure. I wouldn't spit on those people if they were on fire. They were really good at protecting their ass, but that is about all.. A lot of people in here were upset about it, but there wasn't much they could do. LESSON 3- Stay away from a Homeowners Association if you possibly can. It is like living in a communist country. And I can say that after being a very benign dictator for five years!
So, we have a deposition with the banker, Mike Williams. He said that I was very polite, business like and didn't harass him at all. He went through all the problems with Bruce's loan etc. but I was totally exonerated. We are all high fiving and thinking it was ready to go for a motion to dismiss. Then when the lawyer starts to prepare the motion she discovers that she didn't have a signature on the deposition AND she had not waived signature. The lawyer, after having his memory "refreshed" by Caper's friend, makes huge changes on his deposition. Suddenly I am a heinous bitch. I fired that lawyer. She deserved more punishment than firing, but I was sick of lawyers. This was long and boring, I know, but so cathartic for me. It is a sad world when telling the truth gets you sued. Was I ever naive!!! Every day is a lesson, and this one was hard and emotionally draining. What goes around, comes around, so I'm sure that Bruce Capers will get his one day- soon, I hope.
Here is the story in a nutshell. I was president of the Home Owners Association and we didn't have insurance. I had been president for five years. Bruce Capers wanted to build a house on a lot that he had bought for almost nothing (6 acres for thirty thousand ) because the neighbor's septic tank field was on the lot. This limited the building envelope severely. Most of the lot goes up a hill and is unbuildable anyway. So he makes the poor guy who sold it to him pay off our roadbuilding lien and then Capers takes the money and never pays the lien. Then he lies sto the HOA about having a contractor to build his house, He obtained a fraudulent building permit. Everyone in here was REALLY worried about what he was going to do on that lot. If his lips were moving, he was lying. He was buying books like Beginning Building, Plumbing for Idiots, and things like that. So, when the title agent called me to get some information, I mentioned that Bruce Capers had been pulling some shenanigans in here, didn't have a contractor, and we were all upset. LESSON 1. Don't ever talk to anyone about someone who is getting a loan- even if they ask!!!!!!! Which was what happened. The title agent, Frankie Matthews, told me the banker would want to know about this, and I said, Have him call me. He did and I told him about Brucie Boy. We had two other conversations. LESSON 2 REALLY don't talk to a banker about anyone unless you want to be accused of interfering with a contract!!!!! That is serious in Tennessee- triple damages! The bank cancelled his loan! So Bruce sends out a threatening letter to everyone in the HOA threatening to sue- called me a snobby bitch, arrogant bitch, DOCTOR'S WIFE BITCH, and threatened to "make me wish I was never born" Well, when I heard the doctor's wife comment I knew he was going to sue me. And he did. He sued the HOA, me as President, and me as individual. I had already resigned right as this was happening so there was a whole new board. They told Capers he didn't have to pay the 2000.00 he owed the HOA if he would drop the Homeowners Assoc. and me as Presidenet_BUT they left me flapping in the breeze with being sued as an individual. I was, and still am, angry beyond all measure. I wouldn't spit on those people if they were on fire. They were really good at protecting their ass, but that is about all.. A lot of people in here were upset about it, but there wasn't much they could do. LESSON 3- Stay away from a Homeowners Association if you possibly can. It is like living in a communist country. And I can say that after being a very benign dictator for five years!
So, we have a deposition with the banker, Mike Williams. He said that I was very polite, business like and didn't harass him at all. He went through all the problems with Bruce's loan etc. but I was totally exonerated. We are all high fiving and thinking it was ready to go for a motion to dismiss. Then when the lawyer starts to prepare the motion she discovers that she didn't have a signature on the deposition AND she had not waived signature. The lawyer, after having his memory "refreshed" by Caper's friend, makes huge changes on his deposition. Suddenly I am a heinous bitch. I fired that lawyer. She deserved more punishment than firing, but I was sick of lawyers. This was long and boring, I know, but so cathartic for me. It is a sad world when telling the truth gets you sued. Was I ever naive!!! Every day is a lesson, and this one was hard and emotionally draining. What goes around, comes around, so I'm sure that Bruce Capers will get his one day- soon, I hope.
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